Social media has been a big topic of conversation this week with the (temporary?) TikTok ban. I’ve seen people joking about the withdrawals they’d experience if the app were banned, and while the jokes are funny it highlights that some of us (myself included) might not always engage in mindful social media usage. It would be unrealistic to say we should cut out social media entirely as for many of us it is required for work, or a tool we use to connect with distant families. However, social media, like any tool, has risks especially if we use it without critical thought.

When you’re feeling good, you are more likely to use social media in a mindful way. But when you’re feeling vulnerable, you may want to be cautious. While social media can provide an effective distraction it can also be a tool we use to engage in avoidance, as well we may be more vulnerable to the negative impacts to our self esteem. When you are feeling low and choose to engage with social media, make sure to check in with yourself to see how scrolling is impacting your mood.

My Instagram showcases a fun, social version of myself—a person who goes out with friends and does cool stuff. The reality is…this makes up about 10% of my life. I don’t post when I’m at home doing the dishes or having a bad day. Friends, family, and especially influencers or celebrities are showing you their highlight reels—not the full picture. They’re sharing the best moments or promoting their brand (and often products they’re paid to sell). So when we compare our imperfect selves to the curated feeds of others, we will always come up short because we are comparing our average to someone else's best. 

Social media may undermine our self-esteem by triggering these comparisons more frequently than IRL interactions. If you notice yourself feeling inadequate, it might be time to take a break and engage in an offline activity that makes you feel good. I’ll acknowledge—this can be hard! Social media is designed to keep you hooked. The continuous scrolling and the instant gratification of likes and comments trigger your brain’s reward system, meaning it is designed to keep you hooked. To manage this, try setting limits on your app usage. For me, my goals are not to scroll at bedtime (it disrupts sleep) or first thing in the morning (it may increase anxiety and make it harder to get out the door on time). I am not always successful at this, but the more we practice this new skill, the better we get.

Focusing on connection is one of the ways I am trying to become more mindful of my social media use. When I find myself scrolling, I ask myself: Is this feeding my need for connection? If I am sharing funny things with friends, the answer is often yes. Alternatively, if I find myself falling down the rabbit hole of insta-perfect living room décor (while looking at my own cluttered home), the comparisons kick in and I feel inadequate. That tells me it’s time to close the apps because they are no longer serving me.

So, while we all navigate the ever changing digital world. I won’t ask you to give up social media entirely, I will however ask you to use it mindfully. Set limits on your usage, monitor your emotional experience, and remember that what you are seeing isn't the whole story. If reading this makes you uncomfortable, and causes you to question whether your social media use is healthy, we encourage you to contact one of our therapists to book a consult today and explore how you can take control of your media consumption, rather than it controlling you.

Want to learn more? 

Check out The Digital Wellbeing Podcast for some quick (10-20 minute) perspectives to challenge perspectives on technology and social media.

The Center for Humane Technology also has interesting resources - particularly this article How Social Media Hacks Our Brains

Samantha Rintoul
Registered Provisional Psychologist