Healing from the Voices of the Past: A Journey to Self-Compassion and Acceptance
Whose voice do you hear in your head when you are talking to yourself?
Is there someone whose voice you hear telling you can do it and that you are gonna make it through? Or is there someone else whose voice is louder, perhaps a person from your past whose voice you wish you could unhear when you talk to yourself?
This is something that many of my clients share - the voice in their head telling them they can’t, or that they aren’t good enough is someone from their past. It could be a partner, a parent, or a former friend. Even if this person isn’t in our life anymore, the hurts they caused and the way they shaped our self-image can linger long after they are gone.
One of my greatest privileges is to help clients silence the internalized voice of criticism or an abuser and learn to put their trust in their own wants and desires again. This often involves identifying that what happened to you was not okay. You did not deserve to be treated that way - if that sentence is hard to read, it’s okay we can work on getting you to a point where that feels true.
We may spend time grieving the losses associated with abuse, or acknowledging the betrayal and anger you feel, there may also still be love that lingers and that’s okay. We don’t judge the feelings, we just explore them together and give you a place to feel whatever comes up and know we accept you. We’ll take time to notice what's happening in your body, and move at a pace that makes sure you feel safe. That might mean in the early days of therapy we take lots of breaks to practice grounding to find tools that help you feel safe and present in therapy and beyond.
As we explore our pasts, we also get to experience the joy and hope of building a future based on our authentic values. It can be really intimidating to face these possibilities, but also beautifully freeing because the choice is yours. You get to define how you move forwards.
With time, we will quiet the judgemental voice in your mind and replace it with your own voice or the voice of someone who wants to see you thrive. As you go try new things and learn to treat yourself with love and compassion, we will walk that part of the journey together too, troubleshooting moments of challenge and celebrating your successes.
As your therapist, I can be the safe place to land on the hard days, supporting you and using emotion-focused therapy to help you see yourself through understanding eyes. I will meet you where you are at, and challenge that critical voice in your head and offer you a kinder alternative until you can do it yourself.
Further Reading
Learn more about Self-Compassion in this blog - including ideas for cultivating self-compassion
What is Self-Compassion? - want to dig deeper into what self-compassion actually is? Check out this site for a helpful explanation as well as many resources to help you grow your self-compassion.
Samantha Rintoul
Registered Provisional Psychologist
