Diana Gudim, R.Psych.

What is self-compassion?

Researcher Kirstin Neff attributes 3 elements to self-compassion:

Self-compassion vs self-judgment:

Extending kindness and understanding to oneself rather than harsh self criticism and judgment.

Common humanity vs isolation:

Seeing one’s experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than as separating and isolating

Mindfulness vs over identification:

Holding one’s painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them.

Why does self-compassions matter?

According to Harvard Medical School:

“Forgiving and nurturing yourself can set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well-being. Self-compassion yields a number of benefits, including lower levels of anxiety and depression.”

How can I become more self-compassionate?

Harvard psychologist Christopher Germer suggests the following ways to bring self-compassion into your life:

• Comfort your body. Eat healthy. Rest your body. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Improving how you feel physically with good self-care gives you a dose of self-compassion.

• Write a letter to yourself. Describe a situation that caused you pain (a breakup, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Write to yourself describing the situation without blaming anyone. Acknowledge your feelings.

• Give yourself encouragement. If something bad or painful happens to you, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.

• Practice mindfulness. This is the nonjudgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, without trying to suppress or deny them. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you strive to accept the bad with the good with a compassionate attitude.

Wishing you self-compassion and continuing good health!

Recommended Reading

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
Kirstin Neff